So, since baby number 3 is on his, (90% sure it's a his,) way, and I'm already mind-numbingly exhausted some days... we booked the girl's birthday party already. (Already means two months in advance.) They are 3 weeks apart, and most of their friends we would invite have a sibling or two, so while I can get away with it, a joint party it is!
Ryan made a point of saying gifts are optional in the facebook invite, and I just wanted to clarify that GIFTS ARE OPTIONAL!! I didn't know that the fb invite would already be sent out today, but since I coincidentally had a conversation about parties and treat bags in general at a mom's group also today, I just wanted to share my thoughts.
I remember being invited to a birthday in High School and the invitation said, "Gifts are optional, but then again, so is the food." That 'joke' seemed more like a threat to my insecure High School mentality, but I managed to get over it and not bring a gift anyway. In some ways I still find myself feeling insecure though; this time about the perfect party. To be fair, it's way more toned down from my first daughter's first birthday. Do either of us remember that day? Not really! But as a mom, you get stuck in this comparison rut. "So-and-so did it this way..." "They had such-and-such and the kids loved it." "I'd never do THAT at my kids party!" It's beyond silly, honestly.
There are a thousand party themes, people to hire (from clowns, to princess party coordiators, to reptile experts who bring their pets to you,) there are places to rent, (dino adventure in Gibbons anyone?) and a million and one other ways to spend your money on insatiable children. If we're being really honest though, is it insatiable children, or our own ego's wanting just the right party? And that brings me to today's conversation.
"What's up with treat bags anyway? Do I need to do them for my kids party? Seriously, I don't even expect people to get my daughter a gift." said one mom in my mom's group this morning. I think she was asking rhetorically, I mean she didn't seem to expect an answer, but it started an interesting discussion about kids birthdays and they way they are now. I get the impression that most parents would be embarrassed to show up at a party and not have something to give to the birthday boy/girl. But WHY?? And think about the social expectations we are perpetuating. Consumerism, entitlement, selfishness... Am I just on a big granola rant here? My house is small, the girls share a room and that room is also the toy room, and they don't need more toys, they really really don't! Don't get me wrong though; I know it's a joy to see how excited they get because you found just the right thing... But I would seriously rather see the present money go to God's Littlest Angels - an orphanage in Haiti, or keep it for yourself and take your family on a family outing. One thing North America needs way more then kids with gifts right now is stronger families!
One mom of 4 at the mom's group told her kids that they could have a small party at home, or an event with one friend they could invite. Otherwise the cost got out of hand really fast for her. She also said her kids have been invited to parties where the parents plan 'the huge event,' say laser tag and pizza party, and then on the invitations they say, "please send 10$ to offset the cost of the event." Really? Really!? I wouldn't know what to say... Sounds more like an optional field trip then a birthday.
Anyways, if you're invited and you come to the party, and you don't bring a gift, I will sigh and think, "They understand me." If you come and you bring a gift, I will sigh and think, "They understand kids." I think I could go on and on - about the spirit of generosity, kids learning gratitude, Christian values like putting others first, (and how hard they are to teach in this culture when you struggle yourself as a parent...) but I think I have ranted enough. I also hope it wasn't just ranting to you. ;)
Also, I don't think treat bags will be at the party. I've never heard a parent say, "Wow, I'm so glad I have more dollar store toys to bring home!" or "Nice! Just enough sugar in here to get us through tomorrow!" As a token of my feelings I'm not sure I'm explaining very intelligently, I will donate some money to the orphanage I mentioned above.
One more thing. At the risk of sounding hypocritical after ranting about big event parties, we found a really good deal at a nearby pool. It makes so much more sense with a newborn baby for me not to stress about my house being clean, having more kids in the house then I know what to do with and not enough space to do it in. Plus, swimming = good old fashioned family fun, something I am very excited to give back to the families that love our family!
Anyways, let's party! ... In a little under 2 months from now, lol!
