Labels

I've been doing a Bible study with the ladies at my church and Beth Moore is always on the screen and we always guess what bold color she is wearing this week.  Watching the videos about Esther is like drinking water out of a fire hydrant.  There is so much coming at you that you hope the Spirit will filter out what you don't need.  This week one of our fill in the blanks had to do with the labels, the names we give ourselves.  I can't find my book; it's missing in a lot of clutter right now, (I hope it's missing in clutter otherwise I can't even guess,) but I hope I'll do the question justice here, it was an amazing writing prompt.

It had to do with labels, what names we call ourselves... One is fake and one is truth, or that's what I remember from the book I haven't seen since Monday (and today is Friday.) 

________________ the _________________
________________ the _________________

I feet like I could write so many negative ones.

Cailey the dabbler-in-doodling-but-not-even-that-anymore-because-there-is-no-time.  Cailey the Artist.
Cailey the blog pretender.  Cailey the writer just starting over.
Cailey the household slave.  Cailey the wife, raising three, stay at home mom who ministers to hearts more than to chores.

My 'take home' on this is just to be more aware of what I'm telling myself.  For example, I am feeling very disappointing at blog writing already.  I don't know how to link my blog to others, I don't have categories for you to easily browse each blog, I don't have great photos to put up yet, (or maybe not ever,) and I don't have a soundtrack to go along with you reading this, friend.  I don't even have a plan, and I don't know where this is going.  It's hard to commit to writing when I don't even want to share this on Facebook because I haven't told my family that my husband was laid off, and half my Facebook friends wouldn't understand the love I have for Jesus, and some of them even openly mock Him whom I love and I've become a timid personality on social media.  I have friends who use it for boldness and I tell myself it's because maybe their friends all believe, and it's easy to feel bold in front of people who won't argue with you, but maybe I've just become complacent.  I think now that I've got that off my chest I know just where I need to let God in to tell me the truth of what He sees.  And as I write this I hear a song on a playlist I play all the time and I wonder how I've missed the song, or what kid moved it into my precious itunes playlist, but here it is: "It's okay to believe, just open up and receive.  I want you to have confidence..."  Couldn't be more clear, and God uses even a song for the first time to get through my brain... 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ITc1m1p2emg if you want to listen to the whole 8 minutes... ;)

I wrote the previous post yesterday and published it this morning and I forgot that I want thankfulness to finish the blogs until I get to 1000 and that's my goal.  I'll quit or I'll continue to write, but I decide at 1000.  (I meant to write 100, but in the style of Ann Voskamp, I'll just leave this at 1000 and see what happens.)  A lofty goal indeed for a girl who just said a paragraph ago that I don't have a plan...

4: Yesterday was Thursday and that meant Bible study.  I treasure my Thursday night! 
5: Today was payday, and it might be the last for a few weeks and EI may or may not come, but it's not worth worrying about.  I'm just celebrating pay day! 
6: Loving watching Star Trek TNG on Netflix with my husband.  (It's true!  I'm a geek for Sci-fi!) 
7: I'm singing tonight at the Awaken night at House of Prayer.  It's fun, it's edifying.  I love it!
8: My daughter who is 7 won a game of Dominion yesterday beating her father and I with a score neither of us has yet attained.  How did she do this??  What a great reader and (somehow!) strategist! 
9: I have lots of food.  It's one thing I don't have to worry about for quite some time.
10: This place of peace.  I think I'm going to sell my Breakforth ticket, and I'm not worried about missing the conference.  If God wants me there, I'll win a ticket or something, but I don't need a conference to fill any missing gaps in my armor this year.